31 Aralık 2012 Pazartesi

Nine-lives Ibrahim Cheats Death Again

ninelives links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 30 December 2012)

Close but no cigar this time either, Death

In Izmir, Ibrahim Bel (65) got hit by a minibus as he
was crossing the street. Bel was then hit again by a
fast-coming Jeep and dragged 800 meters. The elderly
man was taken to the hospital where it was learned he
had cheated death four times before.

The incredible accident occurred the day before yesterday
near the Ozkanlar overpass on Ankara Boulevard in
Bornova. Bel, the father of five who used to work in a
rock quarry, wanted to cross the street but was hit by
a minibus heading toward Konak from Bornova and
driven by Bayram Ali Avcı (68).

As Avcı got out of his vehicle to help Bel,  Ali Üçkardeş
didn't notice the fallen man, hit him with his Jeep and
dragged Bel a further 800 meters. A motorcyclist alerted
Üçkardeş as he was dragging Bel and got him to stop. A
112 team (emergency responders) determined that it was
a miracle that Bel survived.  He was taken to the Medical
Faculty Hospital at Ege University and put into intensive
care. Bel remains in serious condition.

Bel's son Ferhat Bel (29) related that his father had defied
death on four previous occasions and he predicted that
Ibrahim Bel will be back on his feet in no time. Ferhat
said that 'my father's in intensive care but when I spoke
to him he heard me and wanted to get up. Nineteen years
ago got hit by a truck backing up and he was in the hospital
for a month. Another time at the rock quarry he fell out of
a moving truck but sustained only scratches. '

Continuing, Ferhat said that his father 'got caught under
some rocks that fell from 10 meters up at the rock quarry
and he broke an arm and a leg. Most recently, my father
fell from an olive tree last year and broke some of the
bones in his jaw. He was in the hospital for 50 days and
they put a plate in.'

29 Aralık 2012 Cumartesi

Short in Stature, High in Tension

tension links to original article

//ed.note: alert blog follower Renan Snowden noticed that 'high tension'
in an earlier edition should have been translated as 'hypertension'. As
always, our editors are grateful to keen observers like Renan.//

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 28 December 2012)
Yaras village...doesn't look all that tense...

In the 1970's Prof. Nihat Bilgunturan of Hacettepe
University determined that short people with short
fingers living in Yaras village of Tirebolu district
in Giresun province, were dying before age 50 from
hypertension.  Prof. Bilgunturan wrote an article about
the matter, prompting a German team from the Max-
Delbruck Center, where Prof. Friedrich C. Luft is the
chief, to come to Giresun and take blood samples from
the villagers.

The leaders of the project, Dr. Sylvia Baehring and
Dr. Atakan Aydin, noted that this disease is not
confined to Turkey.  They went to Yaras village and
listened to the life stories of the villagers who have
health problems. An American writer named Russ
Hodge participated in their study and wrote a book
about it called "Short Finger Knights".

The book begins by chance 150 years ago in Yaras
village, relating the life of an ill grandmother there
and moves on to tell the life stories of the short-
statured, short-fingered villagers, all experiencing
hypertension. Enter the scientists who visit the
village and take some of the villagers back to Berlin
for treatment. The book captures the excitement of
the first-time-ever flights of the villagers, as well.

Yaras, in Tirebolu district, on the coast

27 Aralık 2012 Perşembe

Joker on Fatal End of Practical Joke

joker links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 26 December 2012)

Yasin B. on the right.

In Artvin, a policeman who told his colleagues that
he gets scared when he's home alone was the victim
of a "ski-mask practical joke" that ended in the death
of one of the jokers.

Mehmet Pekdura (26) went to the home of his fellow
policeman Yasin B. wearing a ski-mask, intending to
scare his friend, who shot Pekdura in a panic. The
Artvin Governor's office has opened an investigation
and the Governor, Necmettin Kalkan, said that "it was a
very unfortunate incident. We're very sad. A joke that
should not have been played cost the life of one of our
policemen." Yasin B. was arrested for killing his colleague.

Yasin B. is assigned to the Yusufeli police station. He told
his workmates that he gets scared when he is at his home,
where he lives by himself. Hearing this, his friends decided
to play a practical joke on him. Mehmet Pekdura and two
other policemen put on ski-masks and went to Yasin B.'s
home. When they rang the bell, Yasin B. looked through
the peephole, saw masked men and panicked.

Yasin B. then opened the door and began firing his gun
randomly, wounding Pekdura who later died from bullet
wounds to his head and body. Yasin B. told the prosecutor
that "when I opened the door they all started to shout. I
didn't know what was going on. I was really scared. I
shot the person closest to me with my revolver. Evidently,
it was Mehmet."

It has been learned that Yasin B. will receive psychological

Yusufeli located toward the SW

26 Aralık 2012 Çarşamba

Bear With a Coffee Fetish

bear links to related article

(Sozcu Newspaper, 26 December 2012)

A bear entered a coffee house on Sunday night
in the village of Hanusagi, which is located 25
kilometers from Ovacik district, Tunceli province.
Five of the six people inside the coffee house were
able to escape but Muzaffer Gezici (41) couldn't
and was attacked by the bear.

Uninvited guest bears down on Hanusagi village

The villagers came to the coffee house armed
with rocks and bats and chased the bear away.
Gezici, who tussled with the bear for ten minutes,
was injured. And although a couple of days have
passed the villagers are still scared the bear will
return. No one is leaving their house because this
year, for some reason, the bears are not hibernating
and are coming to the village looking for food.

Can't bear a return engagement.
Ovacik in purple

25 Aralık 2012 Salı

Crashing Into Stores Edition

manikinn links to related article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 21 December 2012)
Crash crushes dummy.

Ali B., the son of a rich farming family in Sanliurfa,
came to Abide intersection while driving his Jeep the
night before last but he didn't notice the barriers put
up for road work and lost control of his vehicle. The
Jeep first hit a bank ATM and then careened into a
clothing store. Both the store and the vehicle were
damaged but miraculously there was no loss of life.

Ali B. was in a state of shock, though, and when he
saw the lifeless 'bodies' underneath his car he panicked
and ran away. The 'bodies' turned out to be manikins
that fell from the store window when Ali B. crashed
his Jeep into it. Soon afterwards, Ali B. was taken into
custody and released by the prosecutor after he gave
a statement.

Sanliurfa province
license links to original article
(Sabah Newspaper, 20 December 2012)
Failed driving test yet again...
A tragicomic incident unfolded in Umraniye's Adem
Yavuz neighborhood. Scrap-iron dealer Muyeddin
Erisgen (51), in his own words, said that while driving
he was trying to dust some ashes off of his pants, lost
control of his pick-up truck - which has a 'for sale' sign
in its window - and crashed into a food market.
Local people noted that it was lucky that the accident
occurred before the nearby elementary school released
its students. The market owner, Fatma Ceylan, was in
shock as she got stuck in her store and police determined
that Erisgen didn't have a driver's license. Erisgen, though,
was not concerned, noting that "does everyone have a
license? Maybe. It's normal. I took the driving test many
times but I went to the police station and couldn't get
Traffic police wrote a report on Erisgen and the vehicle
was pulled out of the store. 


22 Aralık 2012 Cumartesi

The Trouble With Marriage

ditched links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 20 December 2012)
Actually, he's probably better off without her...

In Marmaris district of Mugla province, decoration
expert Ilhan Erdugan (41) sent a notice to a
matchmaker column in a newspaper four years ago
and met N.C. (35), a divorced mother of two from
Trabzon. At the time, Erdugan was working on a
job in Istanbul and went to Trabzon a few times
to advance the friendship.

Three months later the couple decided to marry
but N.C. was fearful of her family's reaction so
she left her two children and ran off to Istanbul
with Erdugan. Soon afterwards they convinced
their families, wed, settled in Trabzon and had
a child together.

The couple's happy wedlock entered into stormy
seas last year when Erdugan went to Tokat for
a job. Erdugan learned that N.C., who had started
working at a chicken farm, ran off  with a co-worker,
taking their child with her. Erdugan stated that
"N.C. sent me a message saying 'this can't go on
like this. I've filed for divorce.' I later learned that
she'd been seeing the guy she ran off with for a
few months. When I asked her relatives for help
they threatened me."

Erdugan is currently awaiting help from officials
in order to be reunited with his child.


baffled links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 20 December 2012)
Three's a crowd.

In Istanbul, Cihan Dogan (30), who works as a
manager at a firm, lost his identity card last year
and just as he was about to get engaged he was
shocked by a congratulatory letter he got in the
mail. The Mayor of Kadikoy, Selami Ozturk, had
sent Dogan a letter stating that "we wish you the
best after your wedding of September 7th 2011,
conducted by our municipality. Enjoy lifelong

Remembering that he had lost his ID card, Dogan
frantically appealed to the prosecutor upon learning
that he had "married" a woman named B.S. and was
the "father" of their child. At the same time
Dogan was trying to convince his fiance's family that
he was in fact a bachelor, although "my fiance never
doubted me for a minute."

Dogan is now in a legal tussle to divorce the 'wife'
of 1.5 years he doesn't even know. He stated that
"the guy who stole my ID card, K.B.O., is wanted
for four crimes. The woman doesn't come to the
hearings. I'm a mess. As soon as I get 'divorced'
we'll get married."

Dogan noted that the phony wedding took place
five months after he had gotten himself a new
ID card so he is suing the municipality.

20 Aralık 2012 Perşembe

Turk VIP's Can't Stop The Rocket

rocket links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 20 December 2012)
VIP's powerless to delay launch

Turks have gotten used to state VIP's coming late
to ceremonies and events. Despite having
deference on the roads and breaking speed
limits, they always seem to be late for the
ceremony. It's well known that these VIP's
keep planes waiting, but a rocket!

The launch of the Gokturk satellite, produced
by TUBITAK's Space Technologies Research
Institute (UZAY) and TUSAS and capable of
2.5 meter resolution, was planned to occur the
day before yesterday at 1813 hours (Turkey time)
from the Jiuquan Launch Center in China's
Gansu Province.

A slew of high-level VIP's, including PM
Erdogan, were invited to watch the launch live
from TUBITAK/UZAY's facility at ODTU
University in Ankara. With so many VIP's
coming the risk of it starting on time was
quite high.

Hours before the launch it became apparent
that some of the VIP's would not make it on
time so their staffers set to work, requesting
that the Chinese delay the launch a bit (!).
The Chinese response was pessimistic since
the event was a scientific one, dependent on
weather and other factors.

The sheepish staffers were forced to tell their
VIP masters "get here quick or the rocket
will be gone."  So the first signal received
from Gokturk-2 was essentially this one.

18 Aralık 2012 Salı

Doomsday: First Strike

firststrike links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 18 December 2012)
'Over there somewhere...'

Last week a meteorite fell into the Black Sea
near Persembe district of Ordu province
causing a raft of calls to the "Hello Fetva"
(Islamic mufti's opinion) line of the Ordu
Muftulugu (provincial office of the mufti).
Some callers asked "were the Mayans Moslems?",
while others asked "how can I absolve all my
sins in a short time?"

When the meteorite fell into the open waters
of the Black Sea on tuesday of last week at
2250 hours it was recorded on security cameras.
The Ordu Governor, Orhan Duzgun, opened an
investigation and soon after the incident calls
began coming in to the "Hello Fetva" line. When
asked about doomsday the holy men on duty
replied that "only God knows when doomsday
will come."

The mufti in Unye district, however, asserted
that the claims that doomsday will occur on
21 December have a positive effect on people
but he added that "there's no truth to the idea
that the world will end on 21 December. In
the Koran God gives us five unknowable
truths and only He knows when doomsday
will come.  The good side is that people make
preparations and do their holy duties. I think
this is favorable."

Mustafa T. witnessed the fall of the meteorite
and stated that "it went toward the sea like a
ball of fire. Persembe was all lit up." Others
thought that it was part of a fireworks display,
while there were those who thought that a light
had been showered on the cemetary. But all
remarked that "when we saw the meteorite
fall we couldn't help but think about the rumors
that doomsday will come on 21 December."

17 Aralık 2012 Pazartesi

Trust No One

trust links to related article

(Posta Newspaper, 16 December 2012)

Ramazan & Zeynep dance - before hit-man cut in.

The bodies of livestock feeder Ramazan Kaplan (49)
of Isparta and his partner, Austrian Herald Weib (52),
have been found in Aksehir, Konya. Kaplan's wife
of 27 years, Zeynep Kaplan (47), confessed to the
murder, explaining that "Ramazan was cheating on
me. That's why I decided to have a hit-man kill him.
I approached construction expert Erkan Yildiz, who
built our garage, about it and he directed me to
his friend Bati Kilic (36).

Kilic was captured and gave the following statement:
"I'm married and the father of two children but I was
having an affair with S.K. (25), who works at a bar.
I rented a house for her but she continually wanted
money. That's why I killed Ramazan and his partner,
who witnessed the murder. For 30,000 Euros (70,000TL).
When my girlfriend heard about the incident she
blackmailed me."

Zeynep Kaplan, Bati Kilic and Erkan Yildiz are in jail.
S.K. is free pending trial.


16 Aralık 2012 Pazar

Turk CIA Agents Stuck in Traffic

agents links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 16 December 2012)
Traffic snarl angered agents.

Allegedly, I.S. and H.B., members of the National
Intelligence Organization (MIT - Turkey's CIA
equivalent), got stuck in traffic at the Ankara Ciftlik
intersection on the night of 10 December. Shortly
afterwards, the MIT pair argued with Ankara city
workers making the road repairs that were stalling

The MIT members said to the workers "what are
you doing making road repairs at this hour? And
why didn't you put up any warning signs?" In
response, the workers shouted "who do you think
you are? We should ask you when we should do
our work?"  As the argument heated up I.S. allegedly
drew  his gun and fired into the air. As hundreds of
drivers looked on in amazement the police intervened.

Both sides filed complaints against the other and a
file was sent to the prosecutor. Police investigators
found three spent shells at the scene and filed a report
to this effect. But the workers claimed that seven shots
were fired. 

In their statement, the MIT pair claimed
that "the workers were coming on to us, they were
going to attack us. We fired into the air to protect
ourselves."  The four workers, though, had a different
take on the incident, saying that "they insulted us.
'We're security chiefs, we'll have you all rounded up.
Are you terrorists?' they said. They fired at us but
we didn't do anything."


15 Aralık 2012 Cumartesi

"I was drunk" Defense Saves Wife-beater

drunkdefense links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 14 December 2012)
Rabia's good deed does not go unpunished.

In Adana, Rabia Duman, the mother of four,
went to a shopping center with a friend to get
a surprise present for her husband to celebrate
their wedding anniversary of 18 March 2012.
At this time, Kemal Duman (48) called his
wife demanding to know where she was. Not
pleased with her response, an angry Kemal
told Rabia to come home right away.

When she reached home Rabia was mercilessly
beaten by her husband and spent days in a
hospital. Kemal was arrested and brought before
the Adana 5th Court of First Instance, where
he stated that "I drank. We argued. I don't
remember hitting or hurting her." Kemal was
then released.

Rabia dropped her complaint at the latest
hearing but related that "when I got home
he said 'who told you you could go there?!'
Then he started to beat me and this continued
from 2 a.m to 9 a.m. My nose was broken.
I filed a divorce suit . But I've withdrawn my

Kemal was given a sentence of 1 year 4 months
but the sentence was postponed.

Adana province

14 Aralık 2012 Cuma

Smoker's Rage Targets Mom

rage links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 11 December 2012)
Can he smoke in prison?

In Malatya, a 17 year-old youth stabbed his
mother 20 times after she scolded him for
not doing his homework and smoking while
his aunt was sitting next to him. U.T.(17)
became angry at being upbraided, grabbed
a bread knife from the kitchen and stabbed
his mother Fatma T. (60) repeatedly in a
corridor of their house.

Subsequently, U.T. wrapped his mother's
body in a blanket and hid it in a clothes
closet in his bedroom. Father S.T., who runs
a coffee house in Yazihan district, came home
when he couldn't reach his wife. Together with
U.T. and his brother-in-law, S.T. went to the
police station to file a missing persons report.

Fatma T.'s body was found in the closet by
relatives who noticed blood traces on the rug.
During questioning, U.T. confessed and was

13 Aralık 2012 Perşembe

Doomsday: Fatma Goes Nuts; Flights Full

fatma links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 12 December 2012)
Fatma escorted by alien intruder.

Fatma Aslanboga (55), a mother of nine who makes
a living collecting olives in Ayvalik district of
Balikesir province, has been affected by the
claims that doomsday will come on 21 December.
Fatma has had psychological problems for a while
and the evening before last she argued with the
youngest of her brood, who is 15 years old, resulting
in a nervous breakdown.

An emergency medical team came, responding
to a call from neighbors, but Fatma resisted the team
when they asked her to get into the ambulance. The
police came and convinced Fatma to board the
ambulance, which then took her to Ayvalik State
Hospital.  However, Fatma was similarly uncooper-
ative at the emergency room and was put under
observation only with difficulty.

As she left the hospital Fatma scolded her son and
claimed that the world would end on 21 December.
She asserted that "noone believes it but we're going
to die. The end of the world has come. Smart people
should know that doomsday is coming. Come to
your senses!" Fatma was taken home a bit later in
a police vehicle.

flights links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 12 December 2012)
Last flight to Doomstown

According to the airline search engine Skyscanner,
searches for flights related to Izmir and southern
France have increased dramatically for the week
of 21 December. Turkey's Skyscanner representative
Murat Ozkok stated that "the search for one-way
tickets to southern France has increased by 41%
and to Izmir by around 30%."

Meanwhile, the head of  TOSHID (Turkey's private
airline association), Musa Alioglu, reported that
ticket requests for  Izmir, especially from Istanbul,
have increased markedly. He noted that "the fact
that flights to Izmir are 100% booked for the week
of 21 December, in spite of it being winter, is

Sirince is near Selcuk (lower center)

12 Aralık 2012 Çarşamba

Afterlife Newspaper Delivery

deliverance links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 11 December 2012)
Uncomplaining readers

In Mustafakemalpasa district, Bursa, Mehmet
Ozsakar (44) has a habit that surprises those
who see him. Ozsakar lost his older brother five
years ago and shortly afterwards his father and
his mother passed away. So each day he visits
the family cemetary but he doesn't just water the
flowers and pray. Ozsakar brings newspapers to
their graves every day.

While onlookers gaze in amazement, Ozsakar
leaves the local newspaper at the graves of his
brother and parents. For his grandmother, who
could neither read nor write, Ozsakar has a
special treatment - he reads the news to her at
the foot of her grave.

Those who see the newspaper distribution are
initially surprised but onlookers have gotten
used to it now. Explaining his efforts Ozsakar
said that "My brother and father read the newspaper
all the time, they were very curious. I didn't want
them to be left uninformed after their deaths.

Ozsakar, who is known locally as "the most thoughtful
child", said that "I lost my older brother Adem Ozsakar
five years ago. My mother Omurlu Ozsakar died a year
later from a brain hemorrhage. My dad Hamdi Ozsakar
was so distraught at losing them that he soon had a heart
attack and died.

I was very heartbroken by their deaths so each day
I get the local newspapers and leave one at each of
their graves so they know what's happening in the
town. I don't leave a paper at the grave of  my
grandmother Ruziye Uludag because she was
illiterate. But she gets bored with the full news
so I just read her the headlines and summaries."

Mustafakemalpasa left-center.

11 Aralık 2012 Salı

Knife in Stomach Lo These Nine Years

knife links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 5 December 2012)
Nine-year friend shows up.

In Edirne, a worker who was knifed in a fight
9 years ago has just found out that after the
operation the knife remained in his stomach all
this time. It was thought that it would be too risky
to remove the knife but the unlucky fellow says
that he will now file a complaint against the

Nihat Cevik (37) got knifed in the stomach
during a fight at a wedding in Uzunkopru district
nine years ago and was released from the State
Hospital after treatment. Two weeks ago Cevik
was injured from a fall at work and went to a
private hospital in Istanbul for an examination.
He got an  x-ray, which showed that the knife
in his stomach had been forgotten for the past
nine years.

Cevik filed a complaint against the doctors at
Uzunkopru State Hospital who had operated
on him. He said that when he saw the x-ray
and the forgotten knife he was shocked and
scared. Evidently the risk of removing the
knife had been too high but Cevik nevertheless
filed his complaint against the doctors.

"I had been losing sleep, I was uneasy. Whenever
I went through security in Istanbul they would
search me. Apparently, because of the knife in
my stomach the security alarms went off and
since I didn't know about it I would argue with
the security personnel. When I found out that
the knife had been left in my stomach I was

The chief doctor at Uzunkopru State Hospital,
Dr. Recep Vural, said that as the result of the
complaint an investigation has been begun. He
added that since he hadn't been at the hospital
nine years ago he didn't know which doctors
had operated on Cevik. Dr. Vural stated that
"the metal portion of a knife remained in the
patient's stomach. The x-ray shows this. We're
investigating the situation."

Edirne, Uzunkopru, etc.


10 Aralık 2012 Pazartesi

Sarcophagi All Over the Place

bartin links to related article

(Posta Newspaper, 8 Aralik 2012)
Catch a wave...

In Bartin, Amasra, fierce storm waves brought
a Roman-era sarcophagus and column parts on
to the shore rocks. Citizens reported the matter
to the Museum Directorate and officials made
the following statement: "historical artifacts
have washed up among the rocks at the (Black
Sea) shore. When the violent waves disturbed
the rocks the artifacts appeared."
Bartin up on the right...

sinop links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 8 December 2012)

Surprise in Sinop

In Sinop, one of  the important centers of  the Antique
Age on the Black Sea coast and where the famous
philosopher Diogenes lived, a historical surprise
appeared last week. TEDAS (electrik utility) teams
were digging in the Gelincik neighborhood of Sinop
city on wednesday when the hit a hard object. Thinking
it might be an artifact, they called the Sinop Archeological
Museum right away and the experts who  came determined
that the object was a sarcophagus.

The sarcophagus was extracted with a backhoe and taken
to the museum. Earthenware pots and jewelry - a total of
21 items - were recovered from the limestone case. The
sarcophagus likely held a woman and it was dated to
the 4th or 5th century B.C.  The items recovered were
listed as follows: two pots, seven vessels for perfume and
oil, a small earthenware statue,a bronze mirror, two bronze
rings, a ring collet, a bronze earing, a gold bracelet with 68
beads, a bronze eye pencil and bone box, and three bronze

Ozgur Ozarslan, Deputy Chief of the Culture and Tourism
Ministry, stated that "items previously unseen along the
Black Sea coast were found in the sarcophagus. These
kinds of stone artifacts are rarely found here." Ozarslan
said that the artifacts will be displayed at the Sinop
Archeological Museum. He added that infrastructure and
restoration efforts will be undertaken in Sinop, thanks to
a 9.2 million Euro grant from the EU. In a related move,
a plan and project implementation activity will be readied
for the Sinop Historical Prison.


8 Aralık 2012 Cumartesi

Black Widow Partial to Cleaning Liquid

blackwidow links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 8 December 2012)
Black Widow wears black.

In Gaziantep, retired worker Salman Sanlidag (85),
who lived alone, married 40 year-old Emine
Sanlidag two months ago. But Emine allegedly
planned to kill her husband in league with her
lover and take Salman's home and retirement pay.
She stands accused of putting cleaning liquid in
Salman's whisky bottle last Monday and having
him drink it.

After taking a few sips, the unlucky Salman fell
to the ground as Emine first called her lover Resul
Ozbay, and then 112 (Turkish 911).  The rescue
team came to the house and pronounced Salman
dead, with Emine telling them that Salman had
a heart condition. The team, considering this to
be reasonable, given Salman's age, recorded
the cause of death as a 'heart attack'.

Salman was laid to rest as Emine cried but the
murder came to light a few days later by chance.
Emine's lover Ozbay was under technical
surveillance in connection with a counterfeitting
investigation and his conversations with Emine
about the murder led police to review their
previous phone conversations.

Allegedly, Emine, who had her husband drink
the cleaning liquid she put in his whisky bottle,
first called Ozbay as Salman lay writhing in pain.
As reflected in their phone conversation, Ozbay
told Emine "don't touch him. Let him die. Don't
let on (about the cleaning liquid) when you tell
the rescue team and the police about it."

In light of this information, police took Emine,
Ozbay and Ozbay's friend into custody. Emine
denied the charges, declaring that "my husband
drank the cleaning liquid himself". For his part,
Ozbay stated that "I don't know anything about
anything." The two were transported to jail on
the charge of "causing a death."

Salman's body will be exhumed and sent to the
police forensic lab.

7 Aralık 2012 Cuma

Plane Bomb Threat All for Naught

threat links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 6 December 2012)
A.A. with new friends.

As Turkish Airlines' 0745 a.m. flight to Kishniev,
Moldova, with 112 passengers aboard, was heading
for the runway yesterday at Istanbul's Ataturk Airport,
a phone call came in declaring a bomb threat. The plane
was stopped and then brought to the so-called Air
Taxi Road area where it was surrounded by special
police and bomb disposal teams.

Passengers were taken off the plane, which was
searched. At this point, one A.A. admitted to police
that it was he who had called in the bomb threat. In
his statement, A.A. claimed that Moldovan nurse Lilian
T., with whom he works, had defrauded him and stolen
5,000 USD and perhaps other valuables.

A.A. explained that he made the bomb threat so that
Lilian T. would be caught. However, it was determined
that Lilian T. was not even on the plane. A.A. was
brought before a prosecutor and after an interrogation
was released pending trial.

Passengers were boarded once again and the plane took
off for Kishniev at 1115 a.m.

6 Aralık 2012 Perşembe

In the Name of Honor

trap links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 5 December 2012)
Cuneyt Ozcan

Cuneyt Ozcan (32) of Batman kidnapped his
fellow Batmanian F.A. and married her last
May. Allegedly, F.A.'s father Nesip Ayaz (33)
wanted compensation and threatened Ozcan
with death, saying "you'll give me a girl in
exchange for my daughter". (In Turkey, such
an 'honor-based' (!)  girl-exchange situation is
called 'berdel')

In response to Ayaz's threat, Ozcan played for
time, telling his pursuer that "I'll give you my
sister but she's in Batman right now." (Ozcan
was in Istanbul at this time). However, when
Ayaz's threats became punches Ozcan went to
'Plan B': "my uncle's daughter S.G. is in Istanbul.
You can have her if you want."

Ayaz allegedly accepted this proposal but asked
"how will we get the girl?". This prompted Ozcan
to come up with a devilish plan to kidnap his
cousin. He told S.G. that he was looking for a
flat for himself and his bride F.A. in Istanbul.
Upon finding a desireable apartment Ozcan
asked S.G. to accompany him to check it out.

So, during her lunch break, S.G. went to the
apartment in Zeytinburnu in a car driven by
Ozcan's friend Ozbek Aran (29). On arriving,
the unwitting S.G. entered the apartment as
Ozcan and Aran slammed the door and locked
her in.

A third person then jumped on S.G., who later
tearfully old the prosecutor what had happened
during the terrifying minutes that ensued: "the
person threw me on the floor and put his hand
to my mouth, trying to rape me. I bit his arm and
he hit me, breaking my nose. I had a knife that I
carry to peel fruit and I plunged it into his right
breast.  He fell wounded."

Taking advantage of her assailant's fall, S.G.
started to scream and responding neighbors
broke down the door. Nesip Ayaz, the attacker,
fled and S.G., who fainted, was taken to a hospital.
When she awoke her first words were naming those
who had sprung this trap on her.

Ozcan, Ayaz and Aran were all arrested, charged
with "sexual assault, force and threat, and using
a trick to deprive a person of  her freedom" and
sent to jail. A case against the suspects was opened
and 30 year sentences were requested for each of

Zeytinburnu,Istanbul, located toward lower left side.

5 Aralık 2012 Çarşamba

Appliance Science Builds Batmobiles

batmobile links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 3 December 2012)

//ed. note: only appropriate in a country where
the mayor of Batman city sued the makers of
the Batman movies for copyright infringement.//

Batman stalks Mt. Ararat

Body-shop expert Ismail Ilhan (42), of Agri,
inspired by the film "Batman", has built two
automobiles, one of which has wings, out of
a washing machine, refrigerator, table, chair
and the iron sheeting from ironing boards.

Ismail, who has been working in his field for
15 years, built the cars at his workshop in
Dogubeyazit Dstrict Industrial City in six
months with help from his brother Omer. The
cars can do 100 kilometers per hour and their
black color and styling catch peoples' attention.

Ismail has given the cars the names "Firtina"
(Storm) and "Yarasa" (Bat). He has received
permission from the District Chief's Office
and the Security Directorate to conduct test

Agri and Mt. Ararat way over on the right.

3 Aralık 2012 Pazartesi

Devilish Homer Simpson Draws Fine

homer links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 3 December 2012)
Devil's Advocate

"The Simpson's", shown here on CNBC-E channel,
portrayed God in the service of the devil and the
channel has been fined 52,951 TL as a result. A
report by the Senior Council for Radio and TV
(RTUK) cited the reason for the fine as "making
fun of God, inciting youth to violence with the
message that murder was God's will, and encouraging
the use of alcohol under the pretext that one must
start the new year with alcohol."

The expert's report on the matter was summarized
as follows: "one of the cartoon characters (Homer)
provoked another (Flanders) to murder and violence
by manipulating his (Flanders') religious beliefs;
making remarks to the effect that there is no God;
scenes where the Bible is burned; showing God and
Satan is bodily form; God being at the service of
the devil and even offering him coffee. The broadcast
continued with images and remarks that ridiculed
beliefs. During the program the premise was made
that Christmas is a good time to drink alcohol and
the program encouraged this."

2 Aralık 2012 Pazar

Doomsday Update: Jesus and 60,000

doom links to original article

(Vatan Newspaper, 30 November 2012)
caption: the real catastrophe will be its effect on Sirince.

The entire world is awaiting 21 December 2012, which is
believed to be the final day of the Mayan calendar.
According to the belief, the planet Marduk will hit the
Earth on that date and only two places will not be
affected - Bugarach village in France and Sirince village
in Selcuk, Izmir.

And in fact, according to the prediction, Jesus will come to
Sirince on 21 December so that's why thousands of people
from around the world are expected to flock to Sirince then,
as well. All hotel rooms are booked and camp sites have
been set up in the forests. Around 60,000 people are
expected in the village, located six kilometers from Selcuk,
whose population is 687.

Consequently, officials have sounded the alarm. The
Interior Ministry sent a notice to all units in Selcuk district
to make preparations so that no untoward incidents occur.
A military official from the Selcuk Gendarmerie Command
confirmed that the notice had come and that the regiment's
commander and assistant are making inspections in the
area. He told Vatan that "we started about a month ago.
Traffic and security teams have been doubled and tripled.
There's a mobilization. We've requested help from surrounding
districts. There's an intense preparation underway. Commanders
are checking things out, places are being set up for tents and
campers. Our careful work is ongoing in anticipation of a
great crowd coming."

Selcuk District Chief Ayhan Boyaci and Mayor Vefa Ulgur
echoed these words, with Ulgur adding that "this will be one
of the region's strangest but biggest events. I'm not sure our
infrastructure can handle it but we're stocking up on food and
water. We're coordinating with all other units and with the
telephone companies to ensure there aren't any communications
problems. There's a need for extra mobile base stations in
Sirince and road traffic will be routed one way. There's no
need to close the schools, though."

29 Kasım 2012 Perşembe

Tables Turned on Turk in Ukraine

whoops links to original article and video

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 29 November 2012)

//ed. note: make sure to check out the video by clicking
on 'whoops' above//

A group of young fellows who aim to stop sex tourism
to Ukraine and call themselves by the name 'Defacto'
claim to have captured an unnamed Turkish 'John' as
their latest victim.

The Turk summoned what he thought was a call girl
to his hotel room but was surprised by the youths, who
roughed up the Turk, put a mask on his face, bound him
and paraded him on one of Kiev's busiest avenues
wearing a sign that read 'Stop Sex Tourism'.

Walking (if  reluctant) billboard.


Wife-slasher Now Women's Rights Champ

champ links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 28 November 2012)
Does a 180 on women's rights

In Usak, Tahsin Kucuksimavi stabbed his wife
of 37 years while he was drunk five years ago
but now he's become a champion of women's rights.

The 67 year-old Kucuksimavi, who is a farmer in
the village of Sukraniye, went home drunk five
years ago and his wife Munevver, sick and tired
of Tahsin's drunkenness, screamed 'why are you
drinking?!', which set off an argument between
the two. In his drunken state Tahsin lost control
and stabbed his 37-year wife a number of times.

Tahsin was tried for simple assault in Usak's 1st
Petty Crimes Court and was given a jail term that
was later converted to a 700 TL fine.

But now Tahsin was at the head of the line for the
'Say No to Violence Against Women' event held
in conjuction with the '25 November International
Struggle and Solidarity Day for the Fight Against
Violence Toward Women.'  Tahsin chanted slogans
with the others and said that 'I was very sorry after
I stabbed my wife. She's the mother of my four
children. If she had died what would I have done?
These days whenever I see a protest against violence
toward women I join in right away.'

28 Kasım 2012 Çarşamba

Ancient Elephant Rises Anew

elephant links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 27 November 2012)
Walking tall once again.

At the museum in Kahramanmaras, a special
construction technique has been used to raise
the skeleton of a  Great Asian Elephant whose
bones were found in the Gavur Lake Swamp
and date to 1400 B.C. The missing bones were
added in and no damage done to the existing ones
during the construction.

The most striking elements found in the display
room of the Kahramanmaras Museum are two
elephants, the smaller of which is displayed as
it was found, in a glass case. The larger one, though,
is being displayed upright, after the work done by
the expert restorers of the Culture and Tourism

In raising the Great Asian Elephant, known in Latin
as 'Elephas Maximus Asurus', a 'first' in Turkey
was achieved. The expert restorers, advised by
specialists from MTA (Maden Tetkik Arama-
Mine Investigation and Discovery) and the Italian
Paleontology Institute, completed an elephant's
skeleton with bones that are not its own. The
original bones were restored without damage
and the entire skeleton raised with the special
construction system.

26 Kasım 2012 Pazartesi

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

gotca links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 26 November 2012)
Know any good lawyer jokes?

The head of the Istanbul Bar Association, Umit
Kocasakal, was stopped by traffic police for using
a 'signal beacon' - the name given to the flashing
lights used by emergency vehicles, as designated
by the Interior Ministry - on his car. In accordance
with "Paragraph 71 of  the Traffic Law" he was
fined 72 TL.

Traffic police were conducting checks at the entrance
to the Bosphorus Bridge on 22 November when they
stopped a vehicle using a 'signal beacon' at 1230 hours.
The police saw that the car belonged to Bar Association
chief Kocasakal and determined that Kocasakal was
using it as he rode in the 'security shoulder lane.' He
was fined 72 TL and advised to remove the lamp within
on week or else the car would be impounded.

(A sheepish) Kocasal, when reached by Sabah, stated
that "I don't want to make a comment. Even if I do it
won't do any good."

Traffic police have caught 106 people doing the same
thing over the past five days and fined them each 72 TL.
Among those fined were businessmen, city workers and
four of Istanbul's university deans. The apparatus can
easily be purchased for between 50 and 100 TL.